A mum of 2 trying to stay sane in an overly airbrushed world.

Friday, 30 December 2016

Finger In The Door

We had our first emergency dash to the hospital last week, the title of the post says it all - my eldest suffered the most common injury seen in children's A&E 😰. Seems a bit silly making a big deal of this when people are dealing with a lot worse; but the trauma of it has had an effect on everyone that was involved so I hope I can help anyone who finds themselves faced with the same injury.

As with most stories about Henry (nearly 3) it starts with a tantrum, this one fighting over a packet of crisps he should of been sharing with his best friend. I dealt with it in the usual way - separation and time out; putting Henry in the hallway and shutting the door to give him time to calm down. Unknowingly this would be the start of something that is still haunting me one week the struggle of him not wanting to be in time out I had shut his little finger in the door hinge 😵.

The minutes that followed when I went to open the door were some of the most surreal and worst of my life. Seeing him holding up a totally flat middle section of finger (no exaggeration) covered in blood  instantly filled me with dread, regret and fear. I was convinced he was going to lose his finger, be scarred for life or need an operation to fix it. Thankfully I wasn't on my own and my amazing friend took over in examining and inspecting his finger (a massive deal for her seeing as she fainted watching Twilight at the cinema), almost instantly she told me to call an ambulance. It was at this point that I started to lose it, I got through the first stages of the call but when she wanted more details on the injury and his state I had to pass the phone over I had gone into shock and felt as though I was going to be sick. Again my friend took over and the 999 operator instructed to:

1. Not move him.
2. Use a clean tea towel to lightly assess and stem the bleeding.
3. Not give him anything to eat or drink.
4. To elevate the arm as the bleeding increased.
5. Ice on stand by for if anything fell off (good old frozen peas.)

From that lady who picked up our 999 call to all the NHS staff we've encountered they've all been nothing short of brilliant. There really is not enough words of praise to all those workers - I'm sure the majority are underpaid and over worked but they are still able to smile whilst tackling my terrified toddler. 

We've got more hospital visits ahead, they're being very thorough in ensuring the injury heals properly, but we were lucky; physically he's only suffered a minor fracture on the top joint of the finger - whether it will be scarred or misshaped only time will tell. Mentally he's been a lot more clingy, quicker to cry and hyper sensitive - I'm assured this is all normal and the only thing to do is offer more praise, reassurance and cuddles as he processes what's happened without disturbing the usual routines and rules of the house.

As for me - I had always imagined I'd be good in an 'emergency' situation, I'm typically calm and laid back with most 'normal' stress. Sadly all the cliches you read about the feelings of despair and helplessness when seeing your child suffer are indescribably accurate. Nothing can prepare you for it and once you've felt it I think you'll forever live in fear of having to feel it again. 
Although everyone insists its 'just one of those things' or 'something kids do' I will always blame myself; I shut the door on him, I was short tempered, I should have been able to deal with him better or made him listen better so he would have stayed in his timeout corner. I struggle to not stare at the place it happened and over analyse it all, imagining his finger in the hinge and what might have happened if it had been worse. 

First thing to get booked into the 2017 calendar? 
A baby and toddler first aid course! Hopefully it will help in easing some of the paranoia I now feel about other potential accidents.

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